I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
