This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
