I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm bleeding and have questions
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
