I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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