These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
