i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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