Dual....:-)
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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