i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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