Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
