mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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