Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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