On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
