You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
