He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
