no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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