Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
