No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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