Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
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I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
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I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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