I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
