How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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