we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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