True but thats because hes a fetus.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
