We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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