You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
