literally had 100 drinks last night.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
