carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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