I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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