All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
