Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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