it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
