Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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