She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
