i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
