I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Life is so much better after having sex.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Randomize
