The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
