I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
