In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
How naked do you want me to be?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize