How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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