I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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