she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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