I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize