wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize