Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
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He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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