eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
