I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
