I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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