So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
