I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
