You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
