Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
