I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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