I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
