If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
In America we eat man semen.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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