are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
