Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
