just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
