clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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