I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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