So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
