YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
