just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
