girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
