So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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