he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
