i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize