Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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