quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
