in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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