wakey wakey hands off snakey
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
