Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Still dying that you shit outside
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
