i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
