I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
