Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
