I feel great
I just peed on a car
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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