it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
