Three words: puerto rican gang bang
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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